Watching over East Leyden

The Eagle's Eye

Watching over East Leyden

The Eagle's Eye

Watching over East Leyden

The Eagle's Eye

Don’t Just Say No, Be Ready

“Go in the pool!”

“No, my parents aren’t home and you know that I can’t go in without them here,”

“They won’t know, just go in, I’ll watch.”

We have all been there, a time when we are faced to make a choice, be yourself or “follow” someone else. It’s an even harder decision when you have to choose in front of friends or family. Experts call this peer pressure and they define this as “social pressure by members of one’s peer group to take a certain action, adopt certain values, or otherwise conform in order to be accepted.” Some may think that it can only happen to them but the truth is that millions of young people each year learn the hard way about the consequence of peer pressure. Peer pressure can happen at anytime in our lives, but it affects adolescents and teens primarily, because most of them have not developed the ability to distinguish between what is right and what is wrong at their age. Thus, many teens fall under peer pressure and take to things that can only be termed as ‘bad habits’ in our society.

It’s very difficult to say “no” when you are tempted by peer pressure, but there are clear steps to help. Reasons why it’s difficult to say no are because we, as teens, want to be liked. We have a need to be accepted and a desire to “fit” into a group. Fitting into a group makes us feel secure and it helps us feel like we belong to something bigger than ourselves. As more and more pressure is put on us to forget about what we think, feel, or believe, we would be tempted to take the easy way out and give up on our beliefs to make another person “happy” or just to stop her/him from pressuring us. It’s easy to give up things you value and give in because you don’t want to be made fun of, hurt someone else’s feelings, aren’t sure of what they really want, and they don’t know how to get out of the situation.

Teens and adults don’t know how to get out of the situation because they are not prepared to deal with them. There are many things you can do to avoid being in that position but in order to do that, one must be prepared when it comes to that. The best method to use would be to ask yourself questions regarding what’s going, who you are with, where you are, and the ending consequences. Also, voice your decision and this is may be the hardest part but it can become easier by looking and acting confident. Look into the person’s eyes and stay tall but if you are continued to be pressured, trying saying something along the lines of “No, thanks.” or “I’m not interested.” What is also effective is to use “I” statements or even a quick to the point statement is just as effective, also use matching body and verbal language to get your point across.

Majority of people are already influenced by their friends but don’t realize it. The truth is that you learn from them and they learn from you, it’s natural to listen and learn from other’s mistakes, that’s how most of us were raised. Yes, there are positive effects of peer pressure but the negatives outweigh them. The positives can be shown through helping a friend out with an easy way to remember facts or even being a good player at sports and influence your friends to work hard and become good as you.

The negatives towards peer pressure are almost endless. Putting the Internet aside, peer pressure can get a person in trouble with not only their conscience but also school, parents, and even the law. This can lead to many things such as: taking drugs, drinking alcohol, shoplifting, ditching school, engaging in sexual activities, and destroying property. While some teens choose their behaviors and “think” they are ready, many feel rushed into decisions that they are not quite ready to make. Many end up overwhelmed by the consequences due to their efforts to fit in with their peer group.

If you have already accepted a “dare” or have given into peer pressure, it’s okay and it’s just as easy to get out of it. Just stay calm and go talk to an adult about your situation and they would more than willing to help you out, especially the counselors or social workers. If you’re embarrassed or scared that your friends would find out then, you could talk to your friends or adult family members about it. Teens these days probably won’t talk to parents or family members because they know that they will be judged and get in trouble for even thinking about doing something dangerous, but sometimes parents can surprise us and understand.

All that matters is that we follow the steps to saying “no” and remembering giving into peer pressure,even one time, puts you at risk for ruining your entire future, even plans of college, career, or the military. The decision to stand up for what you believe in and do the things you know are right takes courage. Many people just go along with what other people are doing or what other people want. Being an individual, being strong, means being able to resist the pressure to give up on yourself and your values. You can be your own person. You are a special person with your own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Throughout your life you will be challenged to defend what you think, feel, and believe. Sometimes this battle will be easy, but most of the time the pressure to conform, be like “everyone else,” or do what someone else wants you to do is difficult to overcome. So in the end, it is easy to stand up for yourself and refuse peer pressure because being different is a good thing.

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