Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Elizabeth’s* heart pounded, and the butterflies that had recently found a home in her stomach woke from their sleep and stretched their wings. The A+ student stared dreamily at the wall next to the SMART board at the front of the classroom, humming a song happily while the rest of the class stared at the strife the Ebola virus caused on an African village. He’s really cute… and sweet… and cute…. and Elizabeth definitely wanted to get to know him better. All she could think about was him.

That was the day before Oliver* approached Elizabeth, and asked her to be his girlfriend. Then, like the many young gentlemen and ladies throughout the ages had done before them, they began dating.

Teenagers have always been interested in romantic relationships. It’s an experiment where anything can happen, from heartbreak to true love, from romance to abuse. There are benefits, such as the pleasure and happiness of having someone who truly cares about you. And there are problems, such as texting late into the night when you’re supposed to be sleeping. So the real question is, is it worth it to date during high school?

“A boyfriend or girlfriend can make a great study buddy. Study dates are awesome. Also, having a boyfriend or girlfriend can also boost your confidence; you know that there’s always someone there who believes in you, who knows you can succeed and tells you so. Sometimes that’s exactly what we need to have the confidence to ace that speech for English class,” Elizabeth said.

Researchers, too, note a boost in confidence as part of a longer list of positives. “Among the possible benefits of young love,” says a book by Winifred Gallagher, “(are) improved social skills, knowledge about the opposite sex, new interests like sports or hobbies and — at a time of risk taking — partners who watch out for each other.” She even suggests that for teenagers, ‘’maybe it’s educational — part of their development.’’

What we don’t realize when we date is that it is a learning process. “I like to think that most people are in it for a real romantic relationship,” says Elizabeth, “but I also know that the desire to be in a relationship is more often than not fueled by physical attraction. Most teens want romance, but they rarely want it without hand-holding or kissing or some form of physical affection. Granted, there are some people who are only in it for ‘dirty purposes’ and don’t want the emotional aspect of a relationship, but they aren’t the majority.”

Those that don’t pursue romance for these benefits risk any number of consequences. “The Journal of Health and Social Behavior” reported that compared with unattached peers, involved adolescents were somewhat more vulnerable to depression, delinquency, pregnancy, alcohol abuse and problems with school and parents. An assistant professor of clinical psychology at the New York State Psychiatric Institute states, “The confusion over whether romance creates troubled teenagers, or troubled teenagers are disproportionately interested in romance, helps account for the widespread ambivalence about adolescents’ dating and relationships.” Students in problematic relationships might just be the ones who were fragile before dating.

The couple in the relationship are not the only people that get affected by the relationship, however. “If they don’t like your girlfriend/boyfriend altogether, your friends might just ignore you if they feel like it,” said Kevin Holmes. “Cause you know, when your bro chooses his girl over you over and over again it just makes you mad, especially if he promised to hang later. I mean, it’s cool if you’re with your girl, but seriously bro? If you’re going to ditch me over and over, then just forget it.”

All in all? Relationships at any age are uncertain, but they are especially dramatic in high school. Maybe Elizabeth and Oliver will have broken up by the time this is published. But if they stay focused on all of the real benefits of dating and not just the superficial ones, maybe they’re on their way to a long, happy life together.

*Names changed