“In It to Twin It”

Isabella Valdez, Opinions Editor

People are compelled to think that siblings, especially twins, are born with the innate instinct to compete with each other? And when twins are interested in similar sports, the danger of  believing  in the stereotype of ultra-competitive twins grows. But they’re often wrong and offensive; the relationships between twin athletes is more complex than simply competitive.

At Leyden, there are three pairs of twins, all seniors, who collectively participate in competitive sports: Mati and Misia Szelazek, Husam and Wesam Alabed, and Abby and Gigi Grande. I talked to two sets of them  separately and tried to better understand their relationship with each other as it pertains to competitive athletics, and was not surprised to find that even though others seem to believe they are always trying to one-up the other, the reality is much more thoughtful.

IMG_20160219_152927Both Mati and Misia’s greatest passion and success lie on the track. Mati was the first, in fourth grade, to express an interest in competitive running, and Misia followed in fifth. And they’ve been at it ever since, jetting their way through high school as prominent, well-respected, and talented members of Leyden’s cross country and track and field teams, according to their respective genders, of course. When asked about the competitive nature surrounding twins and athletics, Mati admitted that he does feel compelled to compete with his sister, but not for attention, not for glory, simply to keep himself in check as an athlete: “I do feel that there is a sense of pressure because people consider us equal. Obviously, I’m faster than her just because I’m a guy, but if I win conference then she’s expected to win conference. If one of us is having a bad season it kind of reflects on the other, pressure-wise…it’s like, ‘Gotta catch up, gotta work harder.’”

But is the slight competition noted by both parties? Rather than a loud, outspoken competition, Misia believes her bond with her brother to be, “An unspoken competitiveness. We definitely push ourselves to be the ‘better’ one but we’re so different that most of the times it ends up being more support than competition. We’re always there for one another.”

So, the stereotype, like always, is missing some integral insight. Both runners are aware of the effect their shared birthday has on outsiders. Mati says, that even when he advanced to state last year, people looked at his sister and wondered why she didn’t: “I actually feel pretty bad because I know she’s a really good runner, and I feel that people look at her differently, ‘Oh, she didn’t make it to state.’ I don’t understand why people compare us.” Misia adds, “People don’t understand that even though we’re twins, we’re two different people.”

482623_498328663553959_2084790446_nLike the Szelazeks, Abby and Gigi have been heavily involved in athletics since childhood. Collectively, they’ve participated in softball, gymnastics, basketball, soccer, volleyball, floor hockey, and track and field, but now they are strict two-sport athletes; Gigi plays volleyball as well as captains the basketball team, and Abby plays softball and has captained gymnastics for the past two years.

That animalistic, cutthroat attitude many people expect between twins, sorry, it’s not here either. However, the pressure of expectation weighs down on the Grande sisters, even though they’re involved in sports that in no way resemble each other. Gigi comments, “I feel like people think that we’re always competing against each other, but it’s not our intention to. We like to motivate each other and help out each other out as much as possible. We like to challenge each other sometimes, so we both can get better at what we do, but we don’t compete to the point of getting mad at each other. Honestly, I don’t think it’s fair to compare us because I feel like it sometimes takes our self-esteem down and that’s something I don’t want, nor does she.”

It’s bad enough that people want to pit these kids against each other, but telling them that there’s something wrong if they’re not winning is barbaric. Abby recounts, “Last year, and even the beginning of this year, for basketball, she was doing really good and everybody knew about her, and, last season for softball, I didn’t get much playing time because I had a lot of problems going on with me. I felt brought down because she was the more athletic one and she was getting all these achievements and I wasn’t even playing.” Nevertheless, the Grande girls could not be more supportive of each other, both of them commenting on each other’s passion and dedication for her respective sports.

 

unnamed“The only serious sport I’ve ever done is wrestling,” Wesam said, recalling his past athletic ventures. And his brother, Husam, shares the same intense passion for wrestling that has driven them to compete with each other, but never with malicious intent. “We’ve always been competitive,” Wesam continues, “we’ve always tried to beat each other in whatever we did, and I think this has helped me become a better wrestler.”

Unlike the Grandes and Szelazeks, the Alabeds play the exact same sport, which affects the competitive-feel of their relationship as they practice and are critiqued together, though they don’t actually wrestle each other due to a forty-pound weight difference. But they do externally train with each other which forces them to work harder. Referencing their self-assigned title, Husam explains he and his brother’s competitive-nature as a vigorous balancing act, a fervid symbiosis: “He always pushes me and I always push him. And we always get extra work in after and before practice. He makes me do the stuff that I don’t want to do and I make him do the stuff he doesn’t want to do. If he’s slacking I’ll call him out.”

This doesn’t mean the brothers don’t have a caring relationship. This past weekend, Wesam advanced to state, but Husam, unfortunately, did  not due to a leg injury. Yet, when asked about how it felt for his brother to wrestle for the last time in high school but not himself, Husam confessed it was difficult at first but that he was also “proud because [Wesam] worked so hard for it, he earned it.” And Wesam is aware of his brother’s belief in him, as he says, “I know if he never joined wrestling I would’ve never made it this far. I owe a lot of my success to him.”

Last year, it was Husam who advanced to sectionals while Wesam was in the stands. However, these solo accomplishments haven’t shaken the boys yet. Next fall, they plan on attending the same college where they’ll both continue to wrestle. Sure, they’re pretty hardcore competitors but that’s their bond. One that involves sweat and strife at times, but, as Husam says, “In the end, he’s my brother.”