Ever After High School

Whether or not you have a high school sweetheart of your own, it’s fascinating to picture what a couple’s life will look like a few years down the road. There’s always that uncertainty that lies ahead. Will you two still be together in five years? Will that special someone end up being the one? Will you find someone else to love at college or at work?  The only certain way to find out whether long-term relationships in high school are a good idea or not besides letting it all unfold and play out for itself. A less scary alternative to help guide us through this time of uncertainty: seek advice from those who lived through it already.

Kurt Schuett, an English teacher, dated a girl his junior year of high school all the way up to the beginning of his sophomore year of college. While he attended school in Missouri, his girlfriend went to school in Indiana, making that a solid 7-8 hour travel time apart from each other. On top of this, they were both actively involved, but they managed to make it work until that first month of sophomore year when they opted to part ways. After having been through his own long-lasting relationship, Mr. Schuett came away with this advice: “At the high school level, it’s important to date a variety of different people – and even in your first couple years of college.” To him, it’s important to get a sense of what kind of people are out there, and the only way to figure out which kind of people you click with, is to go out and date them. The earlier one starts casually dating, the better chance they have of finding someone they can see themselves being with for a very long time.

Since we’re all in high school at the moment, it’s especially important to keep things light, according to Mr. Schuett. He explained that there are just “so many more important things for you to put your time and energy towards.” Between a rigorous course load, sports, clubs, a job, and maybe some other activities out of school, maintaining a relationship could be a little too much for some people. Relationships take a lot of time and effort to maintain, but so do grades. It’s important to prioritize at this stage in our lives, and since “you have the rest of your life to worry about it (long-term relationships),” Schuett believes school should be at the top of your priorities.

A common mistake high schoolers make is making their choice about where to attend college based on where their significant other wants to go. Mr. Schuett explained that he strongly suggests you don’t ever pick a college based on your high school sweethearts wants. It’s all about finding the perfect fit for you. Not only that, but who knows – you and your high school sweet heart may not even last through college, leaving you at a school you were never really too fond of to begin with. This is why it’s all about being independent at this point in your life. While having someone there to support you through your endeavors, he says that it’s important to remember that people come and go so “you have to learn to become self-supportive.” If you do decide it’s a good time for a long-term relationship, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. As long as you date someone mature that will allow you to grow, you’re okay, says Mr. Schuett, but at the same time, he believes “most people will find their significant others after high school.” He didn’t actually find his until well after some casual dating and finally settling down to that one person who was just the right fit for him.

Math teacher Jerome Patt is one of those rare success stories. He had met his high school sweetheart his freshman year of high school, but they didn’t start dating until second semester of their senior year, and they’ve been together ever since. It seemed like an unlikely pair from the start, as he explained, since they we’re completely different, but “when you know, you know, and I knew.”

For those of you that are scared of commitment, or are afraid of picking the wrong “one,” Patt advises you just relax and breathe. It’s natural to have anxiety over whom you might want to spend the rest of your life with, but at the same time, this is the time to dip your toes into the pond of dating. As he put it, “someone that has never had that won’t know what it’s like until they know what it’s like. You simply can’t describe it to someone that’s never had it,” and in his case, “I knew and she knew that we would probably get married.” Sometimes it’s just that simple.

Either way, however you choose to experience high school is completely up to you. You can either take the advice of Mr. Patt, and “Don’t sweat the small stuff because “if you know, you know, and if it doesn’t really matter to you, don’t fight about it.” Or you can follow the words of Mr. Schuett because “There’s no reason to get serious on the high school level. Keep things light. Have lot’s of friends, go on lot’s of dates with different people, and get a feel for the type of personality that’s going to be best suited for you.” In the end, it’s about discovering more about yourself during this time of your life.