Know When, Where to Turn
When she received the picture “At first I ignored it,” she said. They were no more than friends at first, casual acquaintances through a mutual friend. They began talking more and would have normal conversations. Over time, they grew closer, and their conversions shifted. She said, “He started talking to me about sex and other things.”
One day, they decided to add each other on Snapchat and continued talking. Then at night he sent a picture of his genitalia to her. This situation caused distance to get in between them. “At first I ignored it,” she said. “A couple weeks went by, and once again he sent more pictures. Sometimes he would do it more than once. It got to a point where he would do it frequently, and I did not know what to do, so I blocked him.”
When teenagers receive a text, there are choices they make. Rather than simply ignoring or blocking, they have the option to go to the police and report the person sexting and press charges on the offender.
But the high school student above didn’t know what to do when she received the picture. She said, “I’m not sure what to do when I receive a sext. I mean we were never educated about that. I guess you tell someone, but I don’t know who.” Even when they do know where to go, some students still do nothing. “I don’t want someone to get in trouble for a dumb reason, unless I’m really being harassed. I don’t think it is a thing to take to the police,” one said.
Another student shared her story of receiving a sext she didn’t ask for. It came from her boyfriend. She said, “I was very shocked, and it made me uncomfortable.” Receiving a sext from a friend or stranger is different compared to getting one from your partner. It may make the other person in the relationship feel pressured to send something back. In this case she said, “I was afraid he would break up with me or that he would lose feelings for me.” The key to most relationships is communication. After she received the message from her boyfriend she said, “I didn’t send anything back, but talked to him in person on how it made me uncomfortable, and he respected my opinion.” She also said, “I don’t want to change my values or morals for anyone. That shouldn’t be what a relationship is about.”
Dean of Students Mr. Michael Grosch advised students that they should “let their parents know” especially if receiving the message is disturbing.
If teenagers were to receive some sort of sext and go to Mr. Grosch for help, he would tell them to “delete it instantly.” He said, “Delete it right away because you don’t want to be sending it to someone else even as a joke.” If the teenager is receiving the sext, they should not send the image to anyone because then the image can spread and everyone can see it. He said, “If you forward it to somebody even as a joke, it can have consequences that you never intended. When you get in trouble is when you forward it because now you are distributing it.” It’s also illegal if the person in the picture is a minor because technically you’re in possession of child pornography.
Reaching out for help from others isn’t easy for teenagers when it comes to sexting. Mr. Grosch said, “A lot of teenagers may not know [what to do] or want to [get help].” The student may feel uncomfortable or weird talking about the situation with a trusted adult. He also said, “There’s no shame in reaching out for help. Sometimes there are bigger things at stake than being a narc.” Going to someone for help can make the problem go away whether it is the parents, police, or dean helping. “It could save someone’s reputation. It could save someone’s mental health,” he said adding, “I hate to be dramatic, but it could save someone’s life.”