Growing up, we’ve always been told not to interact with someone we don’t know or the term “stranger danger.” However, times have changed and so has technology and social media. In this day and age, people — especially kids — are connecting and developing friendships with people they’ve never met in real life. 

This has sparked the debate whether online friendships can be considered as “real” friendships due to the lack of in-person interactions. In reality, online friendships can be just as valuable as in-person relationships.

There are three common “motivating factors” that promote friendship development, says Suzanne Degges-White, a professor and chair of the Counseling and Higher Education department at Northern Illinois University. These factors are shared interests, shared activities, and proximity. People also tend to look for extra factors, like a person’s appearance, status, and value when making a new friend. (Degges-White).

When we interact with someone online, these extra factors are usually not used — especially when the person’s profile picture is not their real face. This results in online friendships being made purely from mutual interests.

I have made a few online friends myself, and from my experience, I would say the decision was the best one I’ve made in my entire life.

My online friend — Tristan — is someone who I consider to be one of my best friends despite knowing him for only a year. We met each other on VRChat when my friends and I joined a public server of Magic Freeze Tag. His avatar was Asaba Harumasa, one of our favorite characters from Zenless Zone Zero. My friends and I added Tristan on discord and we made a group chat.

Tristan and I have a lot of similar interests such as Honkai: Star Rail, Zenless Zone Zero, Library of Ruina, Lobotomy Corporation, Arknights: Endfield, Roblox, Minecraft, VRChat, and cosplaying. He’s also a sophomore in high school and we sometimes talk about school or have study sessions over call.

Tristan has helped me bring out my more extroverted side of me — usually I am an introvert when meeting new people. We both like to cause mischief in the group chat and we bicker with one another a lot — especially about who’s taller. (He’s way taller than me as someone who is 6’2” and I’m 4’10” but it’s fun to bicker about it).

We also had the opportunity to meet each other when the group chat decided to meet up to head to Round 1 — he coincidentally lived in Chicago! It was a bit awkward at first since it was our first time seeing each other in person, but we warmed up to each other very quickly.

There are multiple benefits for having online friends. For example, it’s easier to find and connect with other people who share the same niche interests or hobbies — just find a community that shares the same interest and there’ll be a bunch of people from all over the world!

Degges-White also mentions that online friends may allow dark secrets to be shared more easily. She states that “there’s a greater sense of anonymity and less concern about ‘what will this person think of me?’” I have my own personal experience of sharing secrets with Tristan that I wouldn’t tell my in-person friends due to my fear of their reactions.

Online friends are also valuable to people who can’t go out as much compared to others. Linda Stade, an educator and consultant in Western Australia, says how “[online friends] are invaluable for kids who live in isolated areas or kids who are isolated for other reasons, like disabilities” and that the online environment can be a perfect forum for kids with social anxiety. (Stade).

There are a ton of online communities with niche interests, and they provide a space that gives a sense of belonging for people who think they’re isolated. It helps them realize they’re not as isolated as they think they are and allows them to freely express themselves.

Despite these benefits, there are also worries about children’s safety when they’re interacting online and the potential lack of in-person friendships. 

“It’s important to talk with kids about online safety in general, and especially when it comes to providing personal details,” says Nicole Beurkens, a licensed psychologist. “This includes helping kids know when it’s okay to tell someone information such as birthdate, address, school name, etc.” (Beurkens).

It’s crucial to decide who can or can not be trusted online and which personal information can be shared. It’s also important to remember that not everyone has pure intentions and to be aware of suspicious behavior — like asking for inappropriate photos. 

It’s also important to have a balance of both online and offline friends. A guest author for Eddins Counseling states that “digital connections offer convenience and the ability to connect across distances, but offline or in-person connections provide the irreplaceable warmth of human presence and nonverbal forms of communication. Both kinds of interactions are valuable.” (Mental Health Benefits).

Online interactions shouldn’t replace in-person interactions, and a balance of both allows a range of social skills to be developed that can be used in both scenarios. It ensures that people aren’t only relying on support from online friendships but also from in-person ones as well.

Online friendships can be considered as “real” friendships. They can be just as beneficial as in-person friendships, and it is possible to form a strong bond with someone online without their physical presence.

“It is helpful to consider what constitutes a ‘real’ friendship,” says Phillip Campbell, a history teacher who has seen the variety of parental responses about their children’s online friendships. “Is physical presence a necessary component of a ‘real’ friendship? When most of us consider what makes a good friend, do we not consider things like shared experience, emotional support, and mutual respect?” (Campbell).

It’s important to remember that these qualities are also essential to a friendship and could be more important than a physical presence. They can be cultivated without any physical contact and — to many — online friendships can be just as real as in-person friendships.

Works Cited

Beurkens, Nicole. “Are online friendships good for teens? Researchers say “Yes!”” Qustodio, 11 October 2022, https://www.qustodio.com/en/blog/are-online-friendships-good-for-teens-researchers-say-yes/. Accessed 27 April 2026.

Campbell, Phillip. “Are Online Friendships Real Friendships?” Homeschool Connections, 7 February 2025, https://homeschoolconnections.com/online-friendships-homeschooling/. Accessed 27 April 2026.

Degges-White, Suzanne. “Do Online Friendships Differ From Face-to-Face Friendships?” Psychology Today, 29 May 2020, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202005/do-online-friendships-differ-face-face-friendships. Accessed 27 April 2026.

“Mental Health Benefits of Meeting New People Online: Expanding Your Social Circle.” Eddins Counseling, 28 August 2024, https://eddinscounseling.com/mental-health-benefits-of-meeting-new-people-online-expanding-your-social-circle/. Accessed 27 April 2026.

Stade, Linda. “The Social Media Friends vs Real Life Friends Debate.” Linda Stade Education, 21 October 2019, https://lindastade.com/online-friends-vs-real-life-friends/. Accessed 27 April 2026.